


Desperate Times, Something Something

by All_About_That_Ace



Series: The Shame Basement [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: M/M, Zuko is still a theater nerd, and also a poetry nerd, but it's not as prevalent, but not in the way you think, tonight we will be serving revenge and daddy issues, welcome back to the Shame Basement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8212133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_About_That_Ace/pseuds/All_About_That_Ace
Summary: Sure, Sokka might have lied to his father about a few fairly important things, and ok, yes, he hadn't really taken anyone else's feelings into account when he panicked enough to tell said lies, but still, he was almost positive he had done nothing to deserve this. Try telling that to Zuko, though. How had Sokka forgotten how evil his boyfriend used to be?





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: WELCOME BACK TO THE SHAME BASEMENT
> 
> Ok, so the Zukka story was way more popular than anticipated. The thirst for this ship is real. Anyway, I figured since it was so loved, I'd try adding some one-shots of various times in my dork sons' lives. I probably won't do too many, and if I write more than this one, there's a good chance they won't be in chronological order.
> 
> If you haven't read the first contribution to what I am now calling "The Shame Basement series", parts of this story will not make much sense. (like why some of the characters can get away with saying shit like 'oh my god') If you're too lazy to read said story and just plan to go with whatever is written in this story (which I admittedly do more often than I should) good luck.
> 
> Pairings: Zuko/Sokka, all others irrelevant
> 
> Timeline: After the GAang +2 have fled Ba Sing Se/found Hakoda and his men/Kuei has left to wander the Earth Kingdom, before they capture a ship/find Pipsqueak and The Duke/Aang wakes up.
> 
> Warnings (literally the exact same as the first story): strong language, implied sexual situations, sexual language, AU, OOC-ness galore because Zuko was OOC as fuck when he woke up from his angst coma so I can do whatever I want with that. No Beta.
> 
> Also, though Iroh is in this story, I am unable to properly convey the glory that is The Great Dragon, and thus do not give him nearly as many lines (read: basically none) as he so rightfully deserves. Sorry. Also also, I am shittastic with tenses. Ignore that.
> 
> This originally took place after they'd hijacked the Fire Nation boat but then I decided that wouldn't work and changed it to the Water Tribe camp, but there still might be some references to them being on a ship that I might have missed.
> 
> Fun Fact: The original title for How Zuko Kind of Maybe Starts Accidentally Dating the Water Tribe Peasant (or It Was An Accident, on FFN, where they don't allow long titles), was Desperate Times, Desperate Zuko. This was when I intended the story to be much shorter, but once it expanded out of my control, I decided the title no longer fit as well as it first did. It still made me giggle, though, so I tweaked it a little and recycled it for this story.
> 
> Disclaimer: Not mine. My life is empty.
> 
> Special thanks to BiJane, who I discussed this story with and who gave me some great ideas for it (which will be specified at the end so as to avoid spoilers). Find the lovely BiJane on FFN, Tumblr, and AO3. They enjoy Doctor Who, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, various super hero fandoms, and more! I particularly enjoy their Carmilla the Webseries fanfics, so if you enjoy useless lesbian vampires, check them out.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Rule one," Sokka said from his position guarding the stew pot, "no one eats until everyone stops threatening each other."

"Yeah right," Toph scoffed, easily grabbing a bowl of stew before kicking her feet up on a nearby log.

"Ok, no one but Toph."

"But Sokka-!"

"No, dad."

"Baby, they're the ones-"

" _Zuko_."

"Why is he calling you ' _baby_ '?!"

" _Everyone shut up_!"

It was all Katara's fault, really. Well, maybe a teeny tiny bit also Sokka and Zuko's fault for goading her, but she was supposed to be the mature one - ages be damned! - so clearly she should've been above such petty things as snitching to daddy.

Apparently she was not.

_Who're the new recuits?_ Dad had asked.

_Oh,_ Katara had said, _they're just Prince Zuko and General Iroh of the Fire Nation. Where should I put Aang?_

And that was when Sokka decided he no longer had a sister.

It took a lot of shouting and a _lot_ of swearing and - while not _completely_ necessary - a lot of Toph trapping people in rock, but eventually Sokka got everyone calmed down.

Then Bato picked up his spear and Zuko took it as a threat and then the arguing started anew.

"Now, everyone is going to put their weapons down nice and slow, and then we are all going to sit down for a good meal and some catching up," Sokka said.

"Right, like they can 'put down' their _firebending_ ," one of the Water Tribe soldiers spat out.

"Not like you guys can stop out numbering them, either," Toph pointed out. Uncle hummed in agreement around a mouthful of stew he'd managed to swipe from the cooking pot. Zuko _had_ always warned Sokka that Uncle was a sneaky one.

"See? Everyone's at a disadvantage. Now grab a bowl and form a line." There was grumbling from the group as they moved towards the pot. " _Quietly_."

Sokka served himself and Zuko - himself because he deserved it for all the crap he'd just put up with, and Zuko because he knew his father and the warriors would be sure to leave enough food for each other but Sokka couldn't be sure they would leave any for the firebenders - before making his way to the log Toph and Uncle were placing bets at.

Sokka decided not to wade into that particular pond and redirected his path to a spot just to the right of the pair. Zuko followed silently.

"So."

"So."

Sokka didn't like this. He didn't like feeling so awkward around someone he'd felt so free with before. He didn't like watching Zuko pick at his food instead of telling bad jokes he'd learned from books or worse jokes he'd learned from Uncle. He didn't like his reunion with his father being tainted by the man's anger and paranoia at the royal men's presence.

"It'll be ok, baby." Sokka looked to Zuko, who softly smiled at him. "Your dad's just worried. Everyone is." Zuko put his hand on Sokka's knee comfortingly. "We'll work something out. You know how convincing Uncle can be."

"I thought I was the mind reader."

"And I thought I was the bossy one."

"You can sleep in your own tent tonight."

"I'll steal all your blankets."

" _Curses_! Foiled again!"

"...You are so lucky you're cute."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

It was odd, being around his father again. Sokka hadn't had to answer to someone for so long. Even when he and Katara had still been at the South Pole with Gran Gran, Sokka hadn't actually been socially ranked under the old woman. Sokka was the Man of the Household, only son to the chief; no one expected him to report to them if he was going hunting or camping or just going to disappear for a while. Sokka still did it, granted, but that was out of respect for his Gran Gran, not because he was obligated to. As much as Sokka had missed his father, he was reallly starting to miss his freedom more.

_"Why are there members of the Fire Nation royal family in this campsite?"_

_"Didn't that Zuko kid kidnap you and Katara once?"_

_"Do you_ know _what General Iroh did to Ba Sing Se?"_

Sokka stopped trying to explain himself after almost an hour and only being able to get out one word answers.

_"Because."_

_"Yes."_

_"Duh."_

Dad had gotten too worked up to really notice how many questions he was repeating. Soon, he'd stop paying attention to whether or not someone was listening to him and Sokka would be able to sneak away to Zuko's tent.

Sokka knew he and his dad needed to talk. They had a lot to discuss - the war, the family, Sokka's exciting new dating life that was probably going to go down in the history books as some 'redeeming love' crap instead of the hilarious clusterfuck it was - and Sokka _wanted_ to discuss them. And they _would_ discuss them.

Later.

Once Uncle had had some time to work his magic and calm Dad down. Yeah. Good plan.

"And why did the prince call you 'baby'?" Dad asked suddenly. "What right does he have?"

Ok, new plan.

" _Uuuuuuhhhmmm_..." This was not going to end well.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Zuko was going to kill Sokka. Sure, the jerk's family would kill him back almost immediately, but at least Sokka wouldn't be able to talk anymore. And Zuko wouldn't feel anymore homicidal rage - always a nice bonus. Uncle would be sad for a while, but Toph would be there to distract him. She was very good at that.

"So," Zuko began, turning to his _very_ lucky to be cute boyfriend, "you told your dad I have a crush on you." It wasn't a question, but Sokka replied;

"Yes."

"An unrequited crush."

"...Yes."

"Because you don't like me back."

"As far as my dad knows..."

"And you put up with me calling you 'baby' because... you _feel bad for me_."

Zuko's voice was like steel and Sokka grimaced. Good. He should feel bad. He should feel _terrible_. He should jump off the surrounding cliffs and spare Zuko the trouble of pushing him.

"I told him not to spread it around." Zuko glared harder. "Do I start apologizing now or later?"

"You _start_ apologizing now and don't stop until I'm sick of dealing with you, you _asshole_."

"Ani, I am _so_ -"

" _Don't call me that_." Zuko tore his arm away from Sokka's reach.

"I only just got my dad back. I didn't want to start a fight so soon after finding him again. _I panicked, ok_?"

"Not ok!" Zuko was going to punch him. He was going to break up with him because hitting your significant other is wrong and then he was going to punch him _so hard_. "First and _most important_ of all, you've made me seem like a pathetic fool! I have to earn those Water Tribesmen's respect if we're going to work together to take my father down and that's not going to happen as long as their leader thinks I'm desperately chasing after you." Sokka looked away in shame. "Second, you _know_ Toph's going to make as many jokes as she can about us sleeping together so your lie isn't going to hold up for very long anyway."

"Actually," Sokka said, perking up suddenly, "I thought of that. I-"

"Shut up." He did. "Third, _what the fuck_? Did you think for a single second how I would feel about this? Did you even _care_?"

Zuko didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. He understood - _really_ , he did. Wanting to please your father, wanting to have his respect? Zuko had only been chasing after his own father's love _his entire life_ before waking up and smelling the delusion. But what Sokka had done, what he'd _said_... Was he so ashamed of them? Or was Hakoda so unaccepting? Zuko didn't know which one he preferred to believe, but he knew he didn't want to spend another lifetime working for affection he thought he'd already earned.

"I really am sorry." Zuko knew he meant it, Sokka rarely looked so serious, but he just wanted to be mad for a while.

"Whatever."

Maybe a long while.

Zuko walked away.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Sokka knew he'd fucked up. He didn't need anyone to tell him that, which is why he didn't go to Toph to talk about how to fix things with Zuko. He didn't go to Uncle because Zuko was probably talking to him already, (and as laid back as Uncle was, Sokka was fully aware he could and probably would kick Sokka's ass for the stunt he pulled on his beloved nephew), and Sokka couldn't talk to his dad because _duh_. Which left him with Katara. Which was just a bad idea all around, but hey, Sokka was always full of those so he might as well.

" _Ah-haha ha_!"

Ok, a _really_ bad idea. Sokka had no idea what he was thinking when he decided to ask his sister for advice on how to un-humiliate his boyfriend, who she didn't even like. Probably all those years of being conditioned to look to her as a figure of wisdom. Thankfully, that mental image should be nice and dead now. Un-thankfully, it didn't die sooner and now he had to deal with this nonsense.

"That's great," Katara said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes, "but don't you think it would've been easier to just break up with him upfront?"

"I don't want to break up with him!" Sokka said. "I just don't want to deal with telling Dad that we're dating until more important things are out of the way, like say, oh, I don't know, just spitballing here, _the war_."

"And you couldn't have just told Dad that?"

"Do you think he would have accepted that answer? _Really_? The answer to that riddle is 'no'."

Katara was supposed to be more helpful than this. Damn his previous delusions! Just another thing to add to his list of fuck ups.

"Face it, Sokka; you said what you did because you know Dad wouldn't approve, and you know Dad has a point," Katara said. "Dating the son of the man trying to kill us? Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?"

"I don't care!" Sokka replied. "I'm _always_ ridiculous! Have you _met_ me? And I really like Zuko and I fucked up and I'd rather be talking to someone else but for various reasons, you're all I've got right now, so break out the advice and _help me_!"

"Move on."

Sokka clenched his fists. He didn't get so angry at Katara very often, but she was really pushing his patience. But he didn't probably ruin his relationship to avoid complications with his father just to drive away a different family member, so he swallowed down his rage.

"What _exactly_ is your problem with us, anyway?" Most of his rage.

Katara blinked before raising a single eyebrow sarcastically and really that was just not fair because one, sarcasm was _Sokka's_ thing and two, since when was she able to raise a single eyebrow and how the hell did she do it sarcastically. Could _everyone_ raise a single eyebrow except him?

"What is my problem with you dating the person who's chased us all over the world to kill our friend?" Katara asked, cutting off Sokka's steadily derailing train of thought. "Someone who has _literally kidnapped us to use as bait_? Someone who-"

"What is your _problem_ ," Sokka interrupted,"with me dating a man who was fed propaganda his entire life by people he trusted to care about his best interests, but who learned to see through the lies and think for himself and who turned against everything he ever knew to help try and fix the world?"

_And who I completely screwed over because I was afraid of Dad's reaction and oh my god I am such an asshole._

"And what, we're just supposed to _believe_ that?" Katara asked incredulously. "We're just supposed to _trust him_ when he says he's changed?"

"I don't need you to trust _him_ , I'm asking you to trust _me_ ," Sokka said. "I've spent a lot of time with him, and I believe him when he says he's different now."

"And you're such a stellar judge of character?"

"Better than you!" So he was initially suspicious of Aang; who wouldn't be with the way he randomly appeared in a block of ice, miraculously alive?

"Just because you _like_ him is _no_ reason to trust him."

_Sokka_ was the one who realized when they were dealing with pirates.

"You're just letting your emotions blind you!" Katara yelled.

_Sokka_ recognized that Yue was miserable about the identity of her betrothed.

"You can't just let a pretty face-"

_Sokka_ figured out Jet was a maniac.

"-and a cocky smirk-"

_Wait a second._

"-and some dumb swords-"

_HOLY-_

"-distract you from the truth!"

_-SHIT!_

" _Think_ , Sokka!"

" _This is about Jet_!"

The tent was silent. Katara gaped. Sokka had not meant to say that out loud.

"...Excuse me?"

Sokka gulped, not out of fear, but out of anxiety. Katara didn't sound _angry_ , not really, but she sounded like she was _trying_ to be angry but was really just very very sad. Sokka braced himself. As much as he wanted advice on Zuko, it was time for him to be a big brother.

"...This is about Jet... isn't it?"

Katara's lip shook only once before she bit down on it, looking away from her brother.

"Oh Katara." Sokka held his arms out and Katara collapsed into them.

"I felt like such an _idiot_!" she sobbed. "He seemed so _nice_ , and he _paid attention_ to me, and I just bought his lies! I trusted him over _you_ , and now _you're doing the same thing_!"

That wasn't true. Sokka knew Zuko. He'd spent pretty much two straight weeks with him! They'd only had one rule - don't discuss the war - but they'd talked about almost everything else, things neither of them had shared with another person, things they didn't even want to think about anymore. Sokka could tell when Zuko was lying, (the prince hadn't been exaggerating, he really did suck at it), and he knew the overly dramatic firebender had only ever spoken the truth.

But he could see why Katara thought otherwise.

"I just don't want you to feel as bad as I did."

Sokka should've punched Jet when he'd had the chance. He felt terrible, thinking it when Jet had died helping them, but Sokka just really wanted to punch him.

He would talk to someone else about Zuko. Later. Once Katara felt ok again.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Zuko didn't go to Uncle. As pissed as he was, he still didn't want to sick the Great Dragon on his dumbass of a boyfriend. But Sokka still deserved to be punished, and damn it all, _he would be_.

Zuko went to Toph.

"How's it going, Sparky?" Toph greeted, not even pausing in her exploration of the spaces between her toes.

"Not well, actually," Zuko replied, taking a seat on the ground across from her. "Sokka did something stupid and now I have to hurt him."

"'Break up' hurt him or 'rue the day' hurt him?"

"Rue."

"You've come to the right place." Toph stopped picking, hocked a loogie, and turned her ear to her guest. "Tell Aunt Toph what Snoozles did."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"...What the fuck."

"Exactly!" Zuko shouted triumphantly. "That was _exactly_ my reaction!"

"What the _fuck_." Toph couldn't seem to wrap her mind around it. "Ok, first of all, he's _way_ more whipped than you are." Zuko moved to comment, but Toph had already continued on; "Second, he _has_ to know I wouldn't be quiet about you two."

"He says he has a plan about that."

"Third, _what the fuck_? Does he not realize the verbal ass kicking Iroh is going to unleash on him? He's gonna have that guy sobbing and begging for forgiveness in three minutes _flat_."

"Probably," Zuko agreed, "but I don't want that."

"...Huh?"

"Long, heartfelt conversations? Talking through our problems? You know that's not how Sokka and I work." Zuko scoffed. "I mean, I guess we talked about the 'high society' thing, but that was after days of avoiding the topic and distracting each other with sex. I spent more time bar fighting with you than I did with him, those days."

"So, you want to avoid the topic?" Toph asked uncertainly, which was a weird descriptor to use for Toph but was the closest one Zuko could think of to match her tone.

" _So_ , I want to do something ridiculous and convoluted that will eventually twist its way into making him talk to his father." _Duh._

"...Ok, whatever." Toph shrugged. What did she care? She got to be let in on a scheme; she was happy. "Got anything in mind?"

"Yes, actually. Tell me what you think of this..."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"That's awful. _You're_ awful. _Do it_."

"...I'm so glad I met you."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Sokka reluctantly made his way to the training grounds near the campsite. The Water Tribe warriors would be running drills at that time and Sokka had been asked to join.

Zuko and Uncle would be there, too, (what with most of the fighters being there and Dad and the others not wanting to leave the firebenders unattended), and Sokka very much wanted to avoid the inevitable confrontation. On the bright side, Sokka had come across no evidence that his dad had told the men about Zuko's "unrequited crush". On the not-so-bright side, Zuko had probably told Uncle about his boyfriend being an asshole and so Sokka was going to have to put up with an hour of soul-crushingly disappointed looks and maybe a few attempts to light him on fire.

That is not what Sokka found.

On one side of the clearing, General Iroh was sparring against various Water Tribesmen, (teaching them different tricks and tells for fighting firebenders, as Sokka would later find out), and on the other side, Zuko was going over a map with Chief Hakoda.

Zuko - standing closer than strictly polite and angled in a way that so wonderfully showed off his perfectly sculpted form - pointed to something on the map, his other hand resting lightly on Hakoda's arm.

_Oh_ _**hell** _ _no._

"What are we looking at?" Sokka borderline shouted as he made his way to his father and boyfriend, unsubtly wedging himself between them.

"I was just telling Hakoda about the Gates of Azulon," Zuko answered.

"It guards a river that'd take us straight to the firelord's palace!" Dad said. "We just need to figure out how to get past them."

"Your father's had some _really_ good ideas for that." Zuko was clearly talking to Sokka, though his eyes didn't leave the chief.

"Well, that's great and all but the gates are too straight forward," Sokka said, trying and failing to force his way into Zuko's sight line. "Since Azula knows about the initial invasion plans, we need to scrap them completely and start over fresh."

"Actually," Sokka's dad said, oblivious to the shenanigans around him as he examined the map, "I was thinking, even though we know that the Fire Nation knows about the invasion, the Fire Nation probably doesn't know that we know that they know." Zuko pulled a face at the convoluted sentence before smoothing it over to one of rapt attention. _You son of a-_ "So it might be best if we went ahead with the invasion as a diversion, while a small strike team infiltrates the palace from a different entry point."

"Genius."

"Zuko!" Chief Hakoda looked away from the map at the sound of the strangled yelp that was passing itself off as his son's voice. "Why don't you go through the sword fighting drills with the others? Dad and I will come up with some strategies to run past everyone later."

"Shouldn't I stay and help?" Zuko asked innocently. Sokka very carefully refused to acknowledge the smirk he saw hiding behind Zuko's confused frown. His adorable confused frown. "I mean, I do have intimate knowledge of Fire Nation military strategies."

"True, but you should also keep up with your training." Sokka's salvation came unexpectedly from his dad, who smiled knowingly at his son before turning back to Zuko. Sokka sighed with relief. "The two of us can go over the plans during lunch and you can tell me anything I need to know then."

_Relief is an illusion and so is death._

"Sounds good." Zuko left, sparing them a brief look over his shoulder as he walked away.

"Just you and Zuko, huh?" _No no no no no no no_

"I figured this way you don't have to spend too much time with him," Hakoda said, slinging his arm around Sokka's shoulder. _No no no no_ "Wouldn't want to make things anymore awkward than they already are." _No no no no no no no no_ "It's weird, but he was being really nice. Must want me to put in a good word for him, huh?" Hakoda laughed. It's wasn't a cruel laugh, not a _how-pathetic-of-him-to-think-that_ laugh, more an _isn't-this-situation-so-weird_ laugh, but Sokka cringed, bending low over the map to hide it.

Sokka had been wondering how his boyfriend would get his revenge - he'd considered many different possibilities, from the horror that is a pissed off Uncle to a demonic alliance between Zuko and Katara using Toph as a liason - but never had even the _vaguest_ idea of this crossed his mind, because seriously? _Seriously?_ There was getting revenge and there was _smacking someone down like_ _the hand of God_ and Sokka knew he had done something shitty but he hadn't known it was _so_ shitty that Zuko felt the need to prove himself holy.

How was Sokka supposed to deal with his boyfriend hitting on his _dad_?

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

He wasn't. He wasn't supposed to deal with it. Which was great because Sokka was starting to think it would be physically impossible to.

Every joke, every idea, every training exercise, Zuko was there - there to laugh, there to compliment, there to enthusiastically participate and pair up and _'could you show me that move again? I'm not used to Water Tribe fighting styles'_. Zuko wasn't _really_ flirting, Sokka knew. Zuko didn't laugh at jokes, he smiled when he thought no one was looking. He didn't compliment ideas, he played devil's advocate until the idea was perfected. He didn't have trouble at adapting his fighting style or at the very least he never _ever_ admitted to it. Zuko would never act so out of character for something as petty as _flirting_. This was revenge, pure and simple.

And _Christ_ , was Sokka getting annoyed.

It was Sokka's fault, completely 100% no doubt about it - _Sokka_ lied, _Sokka_ said terrible things about his boyfriend, _Sokka_ did nothing to fix his mistakes, _Sokka_ didn't talk to Zuko about the issue (though, to be fair, neither had Zuko made any attempt to speak to Sokka, but seriously, that wasn't how they handled their shit, anyway) - but that didn't stop the aggrivation.

Sokka knew it was revenge, and he knew the best way to handle said revenge (other than - ew - _talking_ to Zukoabout the problem like an _adult_ ) was to ignore it completely.

That was not a concept Sokka was comfortable with.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Why are you hitting on my dad?"

"To piss off your brother. Why are you in my tent?"

"To tell you to stay away from my dad."

Katara was not the Water Tribe person Zuko wanted to talk to, but she _was_ someone he needed to clear the air with. Once Sokka snapped and talked to Hakoda and things got back to normal-ish, Sokka would probably appreciate Zuko and Katara being civil.

"I'll stop flirting with your dad when Sokka stops being stupid," Zuko said. "For now, can I get you some tea?"

Katara blinked. "...Excuse me?"

"Tea," Zuko repeated. He could see why Uncle always played host at the most inappropriate times. Katara's expression was pretty funny. "Hot leaf juice. Plant flavored water. Want some?"

"No," Katara deadpanned. "I don't want your tea. I want to know what you have planned for my family."

"Well, for Sokka, I plan to drive him insane until he gets so fed up he blurts out something about us dating, thus forcing him to talk to Hakoda, who from what I've observed, will not understand and will not be happy but _will_ accept Sokka's decisions," Zuko said. "You, I plan to make nice and exchange embarassing Sokka stories with."

"And my father?"

"Heavy flirting, light groping."

"You're a _terrible_ person!" Katara yelled.

_There it it._ Zuko knew he and Katara needed to clear the air, and if she was anything like Sokka, she spoke most honestly when she was too angry to think about what she was saying.

"Always following us, hunting Aang, trying to capture the world's last hope for peace!" Katara continued to scream at him. "And now you're trying to break my family apart!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Zuko knew it was counterprodictive to yell - he was supposed to be giving Katara the opportunity to let out some steam - but this accusation pissed him off. Yeah, he hunted the Avatar, stalked their group from one end of the globe to the other, and tried to take away the last shred of hope the world outside the Fire Nation had, but he was _not_ trying to tear apart the Water Tribe family. _Clearly_ he was trying to help them and _no one was appreciating it._

"I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! Me personally!"

_Ooh_ , poor Katara with her loving brother and her loving father and her loving friends. _Clearly_ she was the one the war had affected the most. Boo-fucking-hoo.

"But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood!"

And shit just got real. Fine, murder was in his blood, on his _father's_ side! It was like the waterbender was completely ignoring that he had a whole other half to his gene pool. But no, Zuko couldn't yell again. Zuko had to be polite. Zuko had to get Katara to stand to be in his presence so things would be easier for Sokka so the dumb shit Water Tribesman will have one less thing to worry over when he pulled his head out of his ass.

"Hey! The family bloodlust skips the firstborn!"

And that was when Katara attacked him.

_Sokka would've appreciated the joke._

Due to lack of water in Zuko's tent (because he wasn't that stupid), Katara didn't have anything to bend at him but the ocean too far away for her to reach (because he knew better than to set up his tent too near the water and the tribesmen were only too happy to let him stay far far away). Fortunately for Zuko, she also didn't have any formal training in hand-to-hand combat. Sure, she had her bending forms, but with no idea how to apply them to close range fighting, it was simple enough to subdue her.

"Are you done?" Zuko asked, pinning Katara in place in the least sexual way he knew how. No way was he opening the door to _those_ types of accusations.

" _I hate you_!" Katara yelled as she tried to struggle away. "Get _off me_ , you monster! I hate you!" Even with her violent thrashing, Zuko had a firm grip on her, and this only seemed to enrage her more. "All you and your _horrible_ nation has done is ruin the world and now you're _ruining my family_! Haven't firebenders done enough to us?!"

Katara seemed to deflate, becoming limp in Zuko's hold and panting heavily. Cautiously, Zuko let her go, though he kept his muscles tensed just in case. Katara stepped away from him, her head bent low, her back to the firebender.

"The Fire Nation took my mother away." Her voice was impossibly small, almost fragile. It was so strange to hear that tone coming from the waterbender. Maybe it was that odd vulnerability that earned Zuko's reply;

"That's something we have in common."

The tent was quiet, only the faint sounds of the animals outside breaking the still air.

"...I'm sorry I yelled at you."

_Yes! Progress!_

"It doesn't matter."

"It's just that... for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face," Katara said, finally turning to face him only to see Zuko reach for his scar.

"My face? I see."

"No, no! That's - that's not what I meant!"

Zuko knew that. Of course Zuko knew that. It was just habit, by that point - someone mentions faces or fires or scars, Zuko reaches for his eye. At first, it was because anytime someone mentioned those things, they were almost always talking about him. It was his defining feature, obviously. It was hard not to comment on a giant burn across someone's face, but it didn't make it any less annoying when people stared.

(Whenever a stare-er made a clearly innocent comment, Zuko would always pretend to take it personally. Their awkward expressions were always a nice part of what little fun Zuko got to have.)

"It's ok," Zuko said. Katara wasn't a stare-er; she didn't deserve awkwardness. "I used to think this scar marked me - the mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny." _Should I mention that Sokka was a big help in that realization or would that be overkill? Would she think I'm lying to sound better?_

_...Probably. Better keep it to myself._

The room was quiet again. Zuko didn't know how long they silently stood there - long enough for Zuko to mentally recite _On Loving a Monster_ twice **(1)** \- before Katara moved to leave.

"I'll trust you-" _Yes!_ "- _for now_ ," Katara said. She stepped close to him and stared him down. Zuko leaned away, not out of fear ( _hello_ , he'd grown up with _Azula_ ), but because the types of rumors that could be spread were once again running through his head.

This was the part in the play where someone would walk in and draw hilarious-yet-inconvenient conclusions.

_Don't be a play, don't be a play, don't be a play._

"But you give me one reason to think you might hurt my family and you won't have to worry about your destiny anymore." Katara left, and with her, the chance of miscommunication-fueled shenanigans. Thank god.

_Ah, the shovel talk,_ Zuko thought fondly. He'd been waiting for his turn. The talk Uncle had given Sokka had been a lot more subtle, but Katara hadn't been raised learning the politest way to threaten a life, so Zuko supposed she hadn't done too badly. Short, to the point, absolutely no doubt as to whether she would carry out her threats; yes, she had done quite well, but she couldn't possibly ruin Zuko's mood. One down! And the difficult one, too. _Score!_

Things were finally looking up. **(2)**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"If I ask really nicely, will you kill me?"

"Will you leave a suicide note so Katara doesn't try to avenge you?"

"Sorry, can't. Spiritual reasons."

"Then you're on your own."

Sokka groaned and dramatically collapsed onto his side. Toph continued eating unsympathetically.

While Sokka was not-so-quietly hating his life, Zuko was on the other side of the fire sitting way too close to Hakoda. A few feet away from them, Iroh was surrounded by a group of warriors, working his Iroh _I'm-just-a-sweet-old-man_ magic. (Give him another week and he'd be able to send fire whips at the tents and no one would flinch.)

Sokka couldn't hear what was being said, but he could guess. Uncle was probably making terrible jokes the warriors wouldn't be able to help laughing at, offering everyone the best tea they'd ever tasted, and giving them unwanted but very sage advice. Zuko's conversation was much more interesting to imagine, and was causing Sokka a lot more mental anguish.

_"So,"_ Sokka imagined Zuko saying, _"I was wondering if you would give me some_ private _lessons."_

Across the fire, Zuko leaned on one arm, pressing closer to the chief and showing off his bicep at once.

_"I would love to,"_ pretend-Hakoda said as real-Hakoda gestured vaguely. _"Of course, in order to properly observe the other's forms, it'd be best if we were wearing as little as possible."_

Ok, so that was in no way, shape, or form what they were saying, but Sokka couldn't control his imagination! It had always been too fun to bother and now Sokka didn't even know how.

Curse his wacky, fun-loving ways!

Sokka watched as his dad leaned down to whisper something in Zuko's ear. Zuko looked up at the chief, a confused expression on his face, before nodding and getting up to leave, Dad right behind him.

_I will not spy, I will not spy, I will not spy, I- screw that._

Sokka made to follow after them.

"Sokka, can I talk to you about something?"

_Damn it!_

"Can it wait? Just a little bit?" Sokka asked pathetically.

"It's important."

_Uuuhg._ "Fine." Sokka followed his sister and tried not to think of what his father and boyfriend could possibly be doing. _The universe hates me._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

There was absolutely no way Sokka would be able to find his dad and Zuko in time to properly eavesdrop, and he didn't care.

He and Katara hadn't really spoken since their conversation about Jet. Sokka had refused to let Katara convince him that Zuko was using him for his own ends, and Katara had refused to let Sokka convince her that Zuko had changed. They had called stalemate and went their seperate ways, not conversing except when strictly necessary, each waiting for the other to make a move.

Sokka should have known Katara would move first. She always had been braver than him.

_"I still don't like him."_

They had barely reached Sokka's tent when she'd started talking, and the first words out of her mouth had given Sokka an immediate surge of hope.

_"And I still don't trust him."_

It was that _'still'_ that did it. That one little word had told Sokka more than enough.

_"I'm not asking you to."_

_"I know."_

After years of being shrugged off, after those long _long_ months of being told to stop acting like the leader, after so many instances of _I know what you're trying to say and I'mma let you finish, but I just had one of the best ideas of_ _ **all time**_ , Katara was finally trusting his judgement.

Sure, it was on something she didn't actually have any real say over anyway, but baby steps.

_"I just want you to be happy. You know that, right?"_

_"Of course I do."_

_"Well, if Zuko makes you happy, I'll learn to deal with it."_

_"Thanks, Katara."_

Katara had left over ten minutes ago, but Sokka couldn't bring himself to move just yet.

_"Don't say that. This is what family is for."_

Mainly because of that last parting shot. Sokka knew it was a shot - obviously - and he knew it was her own special way of gently nudging him to stop being an asshole and come clean to their dad, but he just...

He _couldn't_.

Two years. That's how long Sokka had been kept from his father, his chief, his hero. _Two. Years._ They had so many things to talk about, so much stuff for Sokka to learn. He didn't want to spend what little time they had talking about boyfriends and marriage prospects and _no, he's not evil_ and _no, we haven't talked about the future_ and _no, I don't need you to tell me the mechanics of anything_.

Sokka didn't want to spend their time together being Hakoda's successor, he wanted to be Hakoda's _son_. Just for a little while longer. Just for the time he _knew_ they had. After the war, if they all made it ( _When!_ _ **When**_ _we all make it we_ _ **will**_ _all make it we will get through this we will we will we will_ ), Sokka would gladly take a bit of time to deal with his dad's anger and disappointment. Once everything settled down, Sokka would _know_ he'd have the time to convince Dad he knew what he was doing. He'd be able to talk the chief around.

He wasn't going to waste a few long weeks in a few short months by making his father mad.

Sokka could explain all of this to Zuko (if that was how they did things, which it wasn't, which they shouldn't, because heart to heart talks is for girls and Aang). Zuko would understand - he was awesome like that - but Sokka wouldn't know what to say, anyway. He was always _so bad_ with starting difficult conversations that he just avoided them until they were no longer relevant. Case in point: Suki.

(Besides, after what Sokka had done, there was no way Zuko would give him the chance to speak.)

_**Fuck** _ _what a mess._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"So how long have you and my son been dating?"

There was a sound that messenger hawks made when they were first being trained. If they didn't know how to follow an instruction, they made a sort of unholy screeching noise for almost a minute straight, like they were trying to scare away the trainer until they could figure out what the person wanted from them.

Zuko wanted very much to make this noise. Unfortunately, he lacked the proper vocal chords, so while inwardly he was screaming, outwardly, he sounded more like Uncle when he'd heard about the fat happy king way the ferry captain had been eating. Hopefully, the sound would confuse Hakoda into leaving until Zuko could regroup.

"That's not an answer."

Plan A, failed. Time for Plan B.

" _Not so fast._ " Hakoda blocked Zuko's escape attempt, keeping a firm grip on the firebender's arm just in case.

...Plan C?

"What makes you think we're dating?"

And finally, Zuko found himself on familiar ground as Hakoda gave him the _are you fucking kidding me_ look he had seen so often on Uncle.

"One; every time you interact with me, you glance at Sokka to see his reaction, which is always negative," Hakoda said, holding up a single finger. _Shit._ "Two; when you called him 'baby', he didn't even react, as if he was used to it. If the story he fed me about _that_ was true, he would have at least looked embarassed." Another finger. _Shit shit shit_ "Three; I saw you put your hand on his knee that first day, and both of you seemed comfortable with it there." A third finger. _Shit shit shit shit shit_ "Four; I asked Toph an hour ago to be sure and she started laughing hysterically." _ **Shiiiiiiiii**_ _-_ "So, when did this happen, exactly?"

"Approximately one week, three days, and-" Zuko checked the location of the sun, "six hours ago." _Officially._

"...I didn't actually expect you to be that exact."

"Oh." _Nice going, Zuko. He thinks you're a freak._ Zuko resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands.

So Hakoda knew. He hadn't said whether he accepted it or not and Zuko was too afraid to ask, but Zuko was sure the chief would deal with it. At least until more pressing concerns were taken care of, by which time Zuko hoped to have made a good enough impression on Hakoda that the chief would be willing to straight out _adopt_ him let alone give his blessing on their relationship. Until then, Zuko didn't know what he was supposed to do.

How was one supposed to act around one's boyfriend's father (when not trying to piss off said boyfriend or father)? Flirting was probably a no. Fighting was almost definitely a no. Were they supposed to talk about _Sokka_? _**What am I supposed to say about Sokka**_ _?_ All he could think of was what _not_ to say, and it was absolutely _no_ help knowing he shouldn't bring up Sokka's extraordinary way with... words.

_None of the protagonists in the plays have to deal with this! All of their love interests' parents are dead. Or evil. Or suffering from a mysterious plague the hero and their lover have to team up to cure like in_ Escaping Sagano Forest _except the cure didn't really make sense and the playwright had probably given up by the end because really that was just pathetic and Hakoda is looking at me oddly_ _ **oh my god how long have I been thinking**_ _oh crap oh crap oh crap-_

_What would Uncle say?_

"Perhaps we should talk?" _No! Not that!_

"Perhaps we should."

_Goddamn it! This is why there's only one Uncle!_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Don't you think that's a bit... much?"

"Probably. Are you in or out?"

"Oh, I'm in, just promise me something..."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Sokka**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

It was quiet.

_Too_ quiet.

Which wasn't to say that things were quiet in general, just quieter than they should be.

Uncle had started up a music night (because Uncle was magical like that). He'd gotten some of the warriors to take out their seal-leather drums and Uncle had pulled a tsungi horn out of nowhere and even Toph was playing the flute ( _What?_ ). So yeah, things weren't quiet. Music was playing. People were chatting.

Zuko and Hakoda were dancing. Together. And smiling at each other.

Sokka couldn't hear much past the pulse in his ears.

"You're not very good at this, are you?" Dad asked, laughing good-naturedly at Zuko's attempts to copy his movements.

"We don't really dance much in the Fire Nation," Zuko explained, smiling widely at the chief. Hakoda stood close to the prince as he adjusted his arms. "It might convince people we're human." **(3)**

The two shared a chuckle.

_What the_ _**fuck** _ _._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

As bad as watching Zuko flirt with his dad was, it was a thousand times worse watching his dad flirt back.

To be clear: _Dad. was flirting. with Zuko._

Again, to emphasize: _Chief Hakoda. of the Southern Water Tribe. was flirting. with Prince Zuko. of the Fire Nation._

And once more, to make sure we're all on the same page: _His_ _ **father**_ _. was_ _ **flirting**_ _. with his_ _ **boyfriend**_ _._

Sokka could say it a hundred different ways (and he was working on it, too; he was up to 37) and it would never ever make sense.

He couldn't talk to anyone; Toph couldn't be near any of them without laughing her ass off, Katara was back to being pissed because Zuko was "playing with Sokka and Dad's emotions", and Sokka wasn't _sure_ , but he would swear he'd heard Uncle make a joke about what specific tastes Zuko had.

(He might have been talking to the cook about how picky the prince was about his spiced meats, but _Sokka_ knew that _Uncle_ knew that he was nearby. He could tell. Because Uncle knew all.)

Wanting to put off family break-ups or not, things were going too far. Had already gone too far. Reached the point of no return about two hours after Zuko first walked out. _Whatever_. The point was, Sokka gave up. He was going to talk to Zuko. Like an adult.

Ew.

"Sokka?" the chief said, fingers curled around the edge of the tent flap. "Can I speak with you about something?"

After he talked to dad.

_What is it with people wanting to talk to me at inconvenient times?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Zuko**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

" _ **WHAT**_!"

Zuko took a deep breath, the candles around him rising and falling in rhythm with him. Sounded like Hakoda was finally having his chat with Sokka.

" _ **What do you mean 'do I have any advice for asking Zuko out'**_?"

Yeah, Hakoda was chatting with Sokka. Zuko put out his candles and left the tent.

" _ **No, I do NOT want to call Zuko daddy**_!" **(4)**

Zuko smirked as he made his way to the arguing men. That comment had been his idea. It was so sweet of Hakoda to say it. Zuko didn't know what he had been so worried about; he and the chief were going to get along just fine.

Zuko had just reached the crowd that had assembled around the chief's tent when he finally heard what he had been waiting for for so long;

" _Because he's_ _ **mine**_ _, damn it, now get your own_!"

Toph was laughing. Uncle was collecting money and items from various warriors. Katara was groaning, her head in her hands. Zuko was smiling as he pushed open the tent.

Sokka's eyes were wide, his hands clutching tightly over his mouth like it would drag the words out of the air and back inside himself. Hakoda was looking at him like even the slightest movement would set off some sort of episode. Zuko decided to put him out of his misery.

"I think he's suffered enough, Chief Hakoda."

Sokka dropped his hands and turned to Zuko, seeming to just realize the prince was there.

"What?" He looked to his father, who smiled gently at him. " _What_?" His head darted back and forth like some sort of demented bird before settling back on Zuko. " _You_ -"

"Didn't say a word," Zuko assured him. "Your father figured it out. He's a smart man."

Sokka turned back to Hakoda, who grinned smugly.

"Then all this time-"

"Nope," Hakoda said. "Just this part. Maybe this will teach you not to lie to your father."

"B... b-b... but you..." Sokka's mind had finally snapped, which was weird because Zuko thought he'd have at least one more indignant screech in him.

"Is this the part where _I_ leave so you two can talk, or the part where _you_ leave so he and I can talk?"

"I'm... not really sure."

Sokka continued to sputter in the background.

"How about we both leave and let him collect himself?"

"Sounds good."

The two left. Sokka blinked.

"You..."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"I fucking hate you."

"I know, baby."

"I hate you _so. goddamn. much_."

"Just let it out."

It was dinner time. Sokka had regained his senses and was steadfastly ignoring the group of warriors (and Toph and Katara and maybe even Uncle at this point) who were doing impressions of his moment of clarity.

Zuko sipped at his tea. _Why is the only thing around to drink tea?_ _I know there was some plain water yesterday. Did Uncle just brew it all?_

"That was just cruel, Ani."

"Probably."

What he wouldn't give for a stiff shot of whiskey.

"I _will_ have my revenge."

"Sounds nice."

Or some smooth plum wine. That sounded good.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Maybe rice wine."

" _Zuko_!" Sokka hit the firebender's arm.

" _I'm listening._ You hate me. Cruel. Revenge." Zuko wrapped his arms around the Water Tribesman and kissed his neck. "But you know what? Until then, I have heard _great_ things about make up sex." Sokka perked up.

"Have you?"

"I bet I can get you seeing sounds."

"Oh it's _on_."

Hakoda winked at them as they ran back to Zuko's tent. Zuko smirked, but Sokka didn't notice. He was too focused on leaving. Maybe if he'd been paying any sort of attention, he would have noticed Uncle starting rumors of their engagement.

Eh. Zuko would tell him later.

**Author's Note:**

> (1) On Loving a Monster is a poem by Emily Palermo. I'm not gonna copy it here because I just really dont feel like it, but it's a great poem and you should all google it.
> 
> (2) Parts of the dialogue are taken directly or slightly edited from Crossroads of Destiny and The Western Air Temple
> 
> (3) I swear to god I've read a line similar to this in another story I just can't remember said story and it's bugging me so bad so if any of y'all know, take pity on me.
> 
> (4) BiJane's ideas! It was the brainchild of the lovely and talented BiJane to have Hakoda go to Sokka for advice on how to ask Zuko out and to have Hakoda ask Sokka his thoughts on calling Zuko "daddy" because, and I quote "when that opportunity presents itself TAKE IT"
> 
> A/N: How the fuck do these end up being so long??
> 
> Anyway, thanks for once again joining me in The Shame Basement. I hope you enjoyed your visit. Please help yourself to the refreshments on your way out. Don't drink and drive.


End file.
